sad

October 20th, 2007

This is one of the saddest days I have had on the ship.

 South Africa have just won the Rugby World Cup and I am here on this rolling monstrosity picturing my friends and family having the most amazing time.

I am not sad that I missed us winning. I am sad that I never got to experience, again, the joys of the build up. The stresses and stomach pains. The moment when your boys run onto the field, and they are YOUR boys. They belong to us and we love them.

I was screaming with joy in the crew bar with all the other South Africans. I was singing and cheering and whooping for joy. But it was so hollow. All of us faking joy as much as possible to pretend that we are human again, that we can feel. Instead of the usual hollow work work work that we do.

So that is my thought for the day, a hollow joy. I feel nothing but the desire to feel something. Well done my beautiful boys.

Peace girlguy/guyguy TheBrr

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